one of those days…

Ever have one of those days when you wake up and you just know it is going to be an amazing day? How do you know? Well, before your alarm has the chance to sound off, you awake with a song in your heart, have a great time of prayer and time in the Word, the sun is shining, birds are singing, the shower was not too cold, and you did not burn your eggs at breakfast.  Overall, this day has just started extraordinarily well.  You have a plan for this day, go to an orientation with an international school where you can gather tips on survival in Cambodia from several folks who have lived here between 10 and twenty years, plus you will get to meet other new teachers and make some vitally important contacts.  After the orientation, you plan to wander around your “neighbor hood” and figure out what is within walking distance and attempt a little street shop diner for lunch.  Yes, indeed, it is going to be an awesome day!

You have double checked and triple checked to ensure that everything is set and ready for your day long adventure: keys, sunglasses, sunblock, water bottle, pen, paper, phone, wallet, hand wipes, extra tissues incase you encounter an unequipped bathroom,  map and city guide, and you are off.  With your head held high, mustering all of the confidence you can, you take a deep breath and open the door and step outside.  Frozen in mid stride you take a wide eyed glance around you, taking in the present state of the outdoors…it’s pouring! Somehow in the midst of all of your planning the pitter patter of the rain on the roof escaped your ears, along with the fact that July is smack in the middle of rainy season and you did not keep that in mind this morning.  Not wanting to loose all of your courage and confidence you quickly think about other options aside from walking to get to your destination, and continuously reassure yourself that today is still a great day.  Your umbrella is no where to be found, meaning that walking really is out of the question unless you want to look like a soaked poodle when you arrive. You do not have a moto helmet or a poncho, not to mention you do not yet have small money, which means a moto ride is also out of the question. The one person who could get you to this orientation is already there, and in a meeting, rendering her unavailable for your rescue.  What to do?!  This day which started out great has quickly withered into a pile of disappointment and dashed hopes.

So, you stand, phone in hand trying not to cry.  Just as you are ready to give way to the flood of tears building in your eyes, your phone rings.  You don’t recognize the number, but you answer anyway.  To your delight, it is the one person who knew you were planning to go to this orientation, her meeting ended early, she noticed it was raining and you had not yet arrived, so she called.  She called to make sure you were dry, not out in the rain, to make sure that you were not lost on your way to the school-after all, it was your first time to walk it alone-and she called to make sure you had found the courage to get up and get ready to come this morning.  You quickly recount the events of the morning and state your current predicament of being stuck without an umbrella.  Three minutes later there is a honk at the gate, she has come to take you.  Once again, you know this really is a good day.

Nearly a year ago the afore mentioned morning was a very real morning in Phnom Penh, and the beginning of a year of personal growth in Christ.  As my year is drawing to a close and I reflect on the many challenges, stretching moments, tears, laughter and smiles, attempts at speaking the language and dickering for a good price I can say without question God’s hand has guided and directed it every step and moment.  One of  my fondest memories is this day, for on this day some people who would play a very significant role in my year in Cambodia were brought into my life.  They may work at another school, but they are my sisters in Christ and have become some of my closest friends, encourages, brain storming partners, and have simply loved me like Jesus would welcoming me into their world.

You see, when I came here, I came not knowing anyone, trusting that the Lord would put just the right people in my path, and being willing to take the scary leap into the unknown, put myself out there and try. Faith is being certain sure of what we hope for and certain of the things we cannot see.  He supplies our needs and meets us where we are as we wait on Him, and faithfully follow.  Another very wise person once told me that God is “all over” the small things, and when you have a day jam packed with small stuff you have a day that is jam packed with God, His love, compassion and mercy.  When I think back on this day I do not see all of the difficulties, but the beauty of God’s hand and His faithfullness…a longing fulfilled and gift of friendship He provided, and the grace with which He has continued to carry me.

“The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living.  It’s our handle on what we can’t see.  The act of faith is what distinguished our ancestors, set them above the crowd.  By faith, we see the world called into existence by God’s word, what we see created by what we don’t see.” Hebrew 11, The Message

mountains

“My God is so BIG, so strong and so mighty, there’s nothing my God cannot do! The mountains are His, the valleys are His, the stars are His handy work too. My God is so big, so strong and so mighty, there’s NOTHING my God cannot do!”

Childhood memories scamper through my head as I interact with my knee highs. Thankfully, there is a treasure chest overflowing with fun, phenomenal, silly, girlish memories in my brain. Classifying the smile on my face is at times challenging, determining if it was sparked due to a past memory or observing the actions of one of my knee highs. As their smiles light the room and laughter fills the air, a silent prayer is placed at the feet of Christ.

Daily we go through activities and routines, many of which seem very “old hat” to me and status quo; yet for the knee highs, such routines and activities are new and exciting.  One routine that seems new and fun everyday for the knee highs is singing time. Smiles curl at the corner of every lip in the classroom as each boy and girl waits with anticipation to discover which songs will be sung. The song above has been a favorite of mine since the time I was very young, and quickly became a favorite of the knee highs, yet the meaning has been slightly twisted by the way the knee highs sing the song. Often, due to speaking English as a second language, words are misunderstood, and in turn mispronounced when repeated or sung in the song. Below is how “My God is so big” can be heard in my classroom.

Sung with great gusto, “My God is so big, so Strong and so Mighty, there’s nothing my God cannot do!” Slightly quieter, and with a bit of timidity, because they are not certain of the words, “the mountains are real, the valleys are real, the stars are really real too…” again great gusto, volume and huge smiles, “my God is SO big, so Strong and so mighty, there’s NOTHING my God cannot do!” An abundance of laughter, giggles and repeated motions and a sense of light heartedness fills the air at the conclusion of the song.

Do they realize the significance and truth of their inadvertent lyric change? Without intending to do so, the knee highs made the song personal. In our lives we face mountains and valley’s, not only is Christ reigning over those moments, they are His moments. Not only has the God of the universe created the beauty of the towering mountains, carefully and intricately created the constellations and gave order to the planets, He carved the valleys where the rivers flow and the fog settles; when we call His name Christ willingly caries us through our trials, no matter our age or understanding of the vastness of His might.

To hear little voices full of life and innocence, joy and wonder causes my heart to swell with delight. Yet, in the midst of the joy and delight a shadow looms and lingers a shadow not easily removed from the lives of these knee highs. It is a cloud under which they will live until they know for themselves the love of Christ, and Savior and allow Him to bring wholeness and peace to their lives; this oppression is one put on them by society and family, feeling as though there is not hope for a good future, and that in order to receive favor in the sight of their god they must do good works. When these thoughts come to my mind, I wonder if they realize the truth about which they sing in our simple song, our God is so big, so strong and so mighty, there’s NOTHING He cannot do? Overshadowing, and overpowering all of these thoughts is this ounce of truth, God uses the smallest tools to reach His children and speak truth into their lives.

A song sung when a child is young will be remembered for years and will be replayed in their minds when they experience a very real valley, or look up and see the vastness of the sky and stars, even when they crest an amazing mountain. It is in those moments that Christ is able to whisper “I love you, you are mine”, into his/her ear and woo them to Himself. God is big, His might is vast, and His love and mercy are beyond human comprehension. He weaves lives together for a purpose, to speak His truth and woo those who do not yet know Him. My prayer is that through faithful service and love, a beautiful crop of knee highs will grow and be ready for harvest, and when that time comes a faithful follower of Christ will be present and willing to help nurture and grow these young seedlings.

shepherd

“The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside still waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever.” Psalm 23

Before moving to Phnom Penh, Cambodia to teach for a year I was told by many people, “expect the unexpected”, “be prepared to be unprepared!” And practically in the same sentence people would say, “have fun!”, “you’re going to have the time of your life”, “relax and just take it all in”. Well, all of those statements have proven to be true, the unexpected happens nearly everyday, I can never be fully prepared no matter how hard I try, I am having the time of my life and doing my best to take it all in and enjoy and learn in each moment, no matter how crazy. Yet, just before Christmas I really began to think about how it is possible for a person to live expecting the unexpected, and trying to be prepared to be unprepared. And on the flip side trying to live a “care free” life enjoying each moment. Can a person really live like this? To live expecting the unexpected is almost like saying “brace for impact” every time you get into a car to go down the road. That is a moronic thing to say, and silly. If you did that, you would never enjoy a ride down the road, but always being looking for something terrible to happen. Or if you are constantly thinking about what you are not prepared for, it would be easy to miss the beauty of a butterfly flitting across your path.

I have found a balance between expecting the unexpected and having fun. Mostly, that is because I have discovered that no matter what comes my way, God is in control, no matter how unprepared I find myself for a situation. In my life there have been three times where I have really feared for my life or been completely scared out of my wits. Two of those times were when I was young around eight years old and again around the age of thirteen. The third experience occurred in mid December 2008, while I was walking down the road from a friends house. After a nice visit with my friend I was strolling down the road, which I have traveled by foot several times, when a most unexpected thing happened. Hearing khmer, the language of Cambodia, all around me is normal and expected. As I walked I noticed an older lady to the left of the road, something did not feel right, but I decided to keep walking. She began to shout and yell, and as I was taking it all in, trying to figure out what was happening, I realized she was throwing bricks and stones at me. Just for a brief moment I paused, more out of shock and uncertainty than anything else. As quickly as it began, there were more than a dozen Cambodians surrounding us, shouting something, and the only two words I could understand were “chope, chope! (stop, stop!)” and “dow, dow! (go, go!)” Hoping they were telling me to go, and her to stop I quickened my pace and kept walking, nearly running home, vaguely aware that I was in pain. It was not until I rounded the corner to my house that I looked down and saw the trail of blood flowing from my ankle. A brick had hit me and cut me, another bruised my hip and another bruised my back.

There was no time to grab my phone and phone a friend for help. The only person close enough to call was God, and I did. I prayed, and tried to recite as much scripture as I could remember for the duration of my six minute walk, “I will lie down and sleep in peace…” um, that did not seem fitting for the moment; “Jesus wept”, not exactly right either; “in the beginning God created the Heaven’s and the earth”, so I prayed for this lady because He created her; “I know the plans I have for you says the Lord”, at that moment I wasn’t feeling like His plans were to prosper me, and I felt a bit harmed; eventually I landed on Psalm 23, and Isaiah 43:1-3. From these two bits of scripture I was able to find comfort and truth. The Lord is my great shepherd, with Him at my side there is nothing to fear. When I walk through a scary situation, He guards me, even if it means I get hurt or scratched, my heart and soul are still His. He created me and there is no water or trial that will sweep me over, or a fire that will burn me to a point beyond recognition as His own. When I am in the midst of the unknown and unexpected, He is there. His grace and mercy light the path which I walk, providing safe passage.

“…this is what the Lord says-he who formed you…“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy one of Israel, your Savior…” Isaiah 43:1-3

shadow

Something I have been musing and pondering for about six months is the utter insanity and sheer chaos of traffic here in Phnom Penh. Daily I amazed at the fact there are so few fatalities along the roadways, especially during rush hour traffic. That is not to say there are not accidents and critical injuries, those happen in spades. In general, head injuries seem to be the dominant injury sustained by moto drivers, bicycle drivers and passengers alike when an accident occurs. On an average day I spend about an hour in my tuk tuk going to and coming from work, which gives me plenty of time to think and ponder the ways of the road.

There is a maneuver, performed by many motorists, I like to call the shadow. Really, it is quite genius and clever. In order to take advantage of the shadow, a person would need to be in a smaller vehicle, spot a larger vehicle which is traveling in the same general direction, get behind it and stay there. While it might not sound that appealing because you can’t go any faster than this larger car, it lends to faster passage through the road ways, thus ensuring you will get where you want to go slightly faster without having to honk your horn quite as much. If there is one rule of traffic I have discovered it is this, no one really has the right of way, but if you are a big car you can push people out of the way, and if a big car is coming you better move. So, utilizing the shadow can be quite productive.

About a month after I started working my tuk tuk driver was taking me to work, and we were running a bit behind schedule due to a road closing. He kept turning around to apologize, I just told him to get me to work as quickly as possible, please. As we turned onto a road a large delivery truck pulled directly in front of us. Instead of going around the truck my driver got as close to the bumper as he could and employed the shadow. We were able to quickly drive down the road because cars and motos alike got out of our way and this large delivery truck, without knowing, provided “safe” passage for us.

My first thought was “great now we are behind a huge truck and this will take forever!” As I sat back and tried to just enjoy my solitude, I started thinking, “this is kind of cool, we can stay behind this truck and our commute will go more smoothly.” How short lived those thoughts were! Just as quickly as the thought came, it went. Because of how closely my driver was following the truck he could not see the potholes that were just ahead, or predict if a dog was about to run out in front of us, or if a person was about to cross around. Not only were there those uncertainties, it stunk, literally. The exhaust from the truck came directly into our faces, polluting our bodies with all of it’s toxins.

An idea, the shadow, which at first glance seems so great it actually quite toxic and could potentially be harmful. Then my mind went in a completely different directions, off of the road and to life and the people among which I live and with whom I interact. Often it feels as though there is a cloud of oppression hanging over the country of Cambodia. People live in fear, they are stuck in a cycle and can’t see a way out because they look no further than the shadow in front of them. When life is hard, and there is a pot hole, or a person gets sick and dies they have no warning or hope that life will get better…that perhaps their storm cloud could bring a refreshing rain. A refreshing rain of peace, wholeness, redemption, love and oneness with Christ. The God that I know and love is at work all around me here, and yet the veil of blindness falls heavy over the eyes of the Khmer people.

How easy it is to spot where others need to surrender, or where the Lord is at work in a foreign land. Yet, sometimes self reflection is a bit harder, because it hits home and it means I have to change and grow…an unending process of becoming more like Christ. As my mind started to head down that road I wondered exactly what things in my life could be a shadow under which I was living. Do I need to find freedom from something, or allow the Lord to bring wholeness and healing to a particular area of my life? The truth is, there are several things in my life behind which I could hide. But the redemptive truth is that God loves me far more than the things behind which I hide, and speaks into my life and brings a refreshing rain to heal and help me grow. My name, Kleinfeld, sometimes speaks for itself and it would be easy to let it hover over my head and be bitter or frustrated. But, my name is a good name, one which speaks of Christ’s love, standing out in this world and not giving in, going the distance and fighting for that which I believe. Allowing my job to be my shadow would be easy, but I am not my job. Yes, I am a teacher, and everyday I interact with incredible knee highs who desperately need to know of Gods abundant love. When the day comes to a close, and when all is said and done, I am simply me: Susan Grace Kleinfeld, beloved daughter of Jesus Christ, freed from all clouds of oppression, experiencing His grace, mercy, and healing rain.

“Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will” Romans 12:2

A girl in mismatched pajamas

The innocence and beauty of a smile, wave and silly faces from a child transcend the barriers of language and culture; communicating only peace, hope, love and the truth that we are all in essence, deep down, the same.
Today while riding home from work in the back of my tuk tuk, overwhelmed by the smell and insane ripeness of the durian market, my eyes lingered on the face of a cute little girl. She was sitting on her moms lap, looking a little weak and tired. Her mom was holding an IV pole which held a bag of fluids, and that bag of fluids was connected to this little girl. In her mismatched, but nice pajamas, this little girl sat peacefully taking in the world around her. Soon she spotted me, then she smiled a weak smile. I smiled back, a thousand thoughts swirling in my mind, but mostly I just wanted to say “HI!” and tell her just how beautiful she is. Quickly she picked up her head, she smiled a big toothy grin, and slowly picked up her hand and waved. Immediately my heart melted even more, I waved and smiled again. We spent the next few minutes smiling and making silly faces at each other while her mom looked on with a smile on her face…the girl in mismatched pajamas even laughed a little.
My take away from that short interaction? We are all nothing more, nothing less than human, yet we have one huge commonality…the Creator of the Universe…if I take the time to smile and see a person for who they are at the core-a child of God-the worldly barriers melt away and a little love and joy can be shared between two complete strangers…me and a girl in mismatched pajamas.

the junk and the gem

…it has been a while, and that is mostly due to the fact I didn’t “feel” like writing or wasn’t inspired to come up with something witty, or didn’t want to spew my thoughts onto the pages of the internet for the world to see. But, perhaps in the spewing of thoughts and feelings is where gems are found.
About a week ago I was given a kind reminder to post something by someone I love very much, and she encouraged me with these words: “you have to write a lot of junk before you get to some gems”-said by some famous person.

When living in another culture, culture shock is inevitable, and has cycles, some not so bad and others that are a bit more trying. And when you work with five year olds all day, as a kindergarten and first year teacher, that can be fun and trying and has cycles too. When put together at the same time in ones life, well, we can just say it is a stretching experience.

Upon arrival in Phnom Penh, things such as pajama’s as a fashion statement was fascinating and fun, the crazy traffic, not knowing the language, and not having a clue how to get around were adventures and something I look forward to figuring out everyday. Well, much to my dismay, I woke up this week and was so frustrated-my shower was cold, the cute little lady who has a breakfast stand just outside my door greeted me in a strange language, my tuk tuk was late (but within reason for culture), and why in the world can’t people drive on these roads-not to mention the fact that the road is peppered with HUGE potholes! Oh, and my students, whom I lovingly refer to as my knee highs, are really starting to push their boundaries now that they are more comfortable with me. Really, should all of this be happening at the same   time?! Wouldn’t it be more fair if I had the ugly part of culture shock, get over it and begin enjoying this strange new world again, and then my students try the boundaries like crazy people?! Obviously that is not the case, so I shan’t dwell on that, and attempt to push through both and believe that the Lord will continue to guide me. He brought me here, and will not leave me hanging, but will teach me to look beyond the junk for the gems.

A chunk of scripture upon which I have been trying to reflect and has helped the last few days-Philippians 4, from the Message: “Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petition and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious-the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies”

In essence, I guess that walking through life is much like good writing…you have to plod through the junk, get up and keep moving, and never for a moment stop looking for the gems of life which are all around.

my life, a prayer

As I grow to know my students- not just learn them and have the ability to identify when “trouble” may strike-but to really know them, there are moments I find myself just smiling or saying a quick prayer for one or two of them. Daily I pray for each of my students, that they would have an encounter with the Lord even at their young age. Today as I was looking through my journal I found the first prayer I prayed for my children. Ever so simple, yet honest and sincere: “Oh, may my life reflect the beauty and love of Christ alone, that just one child may come to know His saving grace and life changing love.

The incident which provoked these thoughts, and this blog occurred this week during our morning prayer time.  Everyday, before beginning a lesson, we sit in a big circle and pray for our class and time together. One of my students, Yuth, pretty much talks nonstop. As I was praying, he just kept talking, about his new shirt, the calendar, the fact it was not yet raining, etc. Instead of stopping my prayer, I  added him to my prayer. Whether on purpose or it just “happened”, it made an impact on him and each of my other students. My prayer for Yuth was not profound, simply that he would use good manners, and have a good day.  When I said amen, I looked up into the beaming face of a five year old who was filled with delight, and surprise. He said, “Teacher Susie, you pray for me!” Never once did it occur to me just how significant a prayer said out loud would be to this little boy. Then all at the same time my heart was excited and deeply saddened, he was pleased that someone prayed for him and realized there is something good about that, but, is that the first time anyone has ever prayed for him out loud? My eyes met his big, bright, shiny brown eyes and I said, “Yes, Yuth, Teacher Susie prays for you, and each one of her students because you are special.”  Of course following this little exchange there was a chorus of little voices asking if they were special too, to which I responded, “Yes, you are also special.”

As I prepared to open the class in prayer the following morning, Leaklyta and Muyly put their hands up. I smiled at them and asked what they would like to share, Leaklyta shyly looked at me and said, “You pray for me today?”, Muyly (who is a bit more bubbly) quickly added, “And me too Teacher Susie. I am special.”

Little do they know that many people are praying for them everyday. How little they know about God’s love. And, how little do they realize just how special they are, and the plans the Lord has in store.

A very humbling experience.  A simple exchange between a grateful student and a teacher with an agenda for the day, quickly put into perspective the one thing that really matters-Christ, and allowing Him to be at the center of all things. Not just that, but taking the time to put Him there, and continuously, throughout the day taking the time to thank Him and praise Him-even for the small things.

“Lord…give me gift of faith to be renewed and shared with others each day. Teach me to live this moment only, looking neither to the past with regret nor the future with apprehension. Let love be my aim and my life a prayer.” Roseann Alexander-Isham

say what?!

Kids do, indeed, say and do the darndest things. Perhaps that is one of the greatest joys of teaching, never know exactly what the kids will do and say. When I came to Cambodia, I had one main goal, to love my students as Jesus loves them and do my best to get them through kindergarten. My days are filled with joy and frustration, and sayings that are often lost in translation. A small journal is stashed in my “teacher” bag, in which I record a few of the fun things that take place in the classroom. And here, are a few of my favorite moments thus far:

After battling for a few weeks and encouraging my kids to say “I can” versus “I cannot”, little Danei turned and looked at me when I handed her a paper and said, “Teacher Susie, I think I can!” Perhaps the theme of my classroom should become The Little Engine that Could.

Having 5-6 students sitting at one little table can sometimes lead to a mix up in papers. After all, my kids are only five, and keeping their papers in “their” area is sometimes a bit of a challenge. One day as the kids were working on a work sheet, Sou Hong sat back in her chair, held up the paper she was writing on, and said, “Teacher Susie, this does not say Sou Hong! This does not say Sou Hong!”

For science we have been talking about animals and where different animals live. The kids really like animals, and enjoy talking about them. During the morning session I held up a picture of a rabbit and asked if anyone knew what it was called. Vathatana quickly raised his hand, “Teacher Susie, that is a bunny! That is soo good! Yum! Yum!” Not exactly the response I anticipated, but what can you expect living in a different culture. In the afternoon session I held up a picture of a dolphin and asked if anyone knew what it was called. Everyone shouted out the answer, “Dolphin!” Then I asked where dolphin’s live, Norindeth raised his hand, “Teacher Susie, on the Discovery Channel!”

On Friday while going of the months of the year, Yuth shouted out that the first month of the year is “jam-OO-berry!” And Febuary, that is “feb-oo-LARRY!” Ah, yes, the small issue pronunciation.

Henrico had to stand up for a little while as a consequence of tipping and falling out of his chair. He is very vocal about not wanting to accept consequences. He said, “I want to, I will be good! I don’t want to stand!” Unfortunately for him, if I give a consequence, I follow through.

Here in Cambodia, it is very common to shorten words and drop off bits and pieces of where they see fit. I told the students to get their water bottles and line up for lunch. One of my kids looks at me and says, “Teacher Susie, I have tah for lunch!” To which I replied, “Tah? What is tah?”;  ”It comes in a bottle, you drink it.”; “Oh, do you mean water?”; “Yes, Teacher Susie, tah!” Again, somethings just get lost in translation! You live and learn and figure it out along the way. What an adventure!

While my students were working on something at their tables, I stepped out to grab something, leaving the kids with my assistant. When I opened the door I heard them quietly singing, “This little light of mine…” Music to my ears.

some things are universal…

Surprising or not, there are some things are the same, from one side of the world to the other…

-Team work…foreign concept to ANY kindergartner. If there is something to be accomplished, one person can make it happen better than two.

-And “working together”-what’s that?! During play time today I set out the blocks and asked a few of the kids to work together to build a big castle. I didn’t just tell them to do it, I sat down with them and showed them how. They each looked at me like I was crazy, and as soon as I stood up the shouting began…”that’s my block”, “my tower is can’t stand, I have no tall block!”, “teacher Susie, she can’t help me!”

-The phrase, “I cannot!” is more quickly uttered than “I can”. For if a task looks hard, admitting defeat and walking away is much easier than trying to tackle something new and pressing on through the challenge. Perhaps I will make a big sign for my room that says, “I CAN!!!”, and whenever a kid says “I cannot” have them repeat five times that they can.

-Sharing-quite along the same lines as team work and working together-not an easy concept. During math time we use “teddy bear counters”, they are just little plastic teddy bears that help the kids learn to count and give them something to feel and see as they are learning.  Because there are a bunch of kids, I place a handful or so teddy bears in the center of each table for all of the kids to share. Instantly, each kid has their heart set on a specific color they will use and play with, and if/when someone else uses that color, there are sure to be tears or shouting.

-Passing gas-perhaps too much information-but to my kids it is comical. Everyone notices, and there is a slight chuckle that goes through the room.

-Recess and lunch time-the two favorite times of day for my kids.

-Most of all, the amount of energy bottle up in these little people, is definitely universal! If only I could figure out a way to bottle some of it up…

small world

No matter where I am on my journey through life, God continues to amaze me. On days I feel I can be stretched no further, or else my rubber band will pop leaving me torn and hurting, He sends just what I need my way. What I need and what I want are not always the same thing, and quite often they are very different. However, the ability to see them as a gift and a blessing is what matters.

The choice to move to Phnom Penh was hard and easy. I have felt a tug on my heart for about six years, and have allowed myself to ignore that tug, and in the process not allow Christ to mold me into who He has created me to be, for Him and His kingdom.  To say yes, was to admit that I am not my own, and my life is not mine to do with as I please, but that I am His and my life is a gift to give back freely to Christ-no matter where He calls and how hard or challenging that call may be.

Being away from the “known” and stepping into a world full of “unknowns” is challenging and sometimes lonely. The Lord has blessed me with a group of friends, some girls, who teach at a school close to where I currently live. All of them are also new to Phnom Penh, which provides an instant sense of camaraderie and friendship.

And there are moments where I just wish for a smile, a hug or a note from home, from someone I look up to and love. This week as I was reading my Bible during lunch a note fell from it’s pages. I picked it up, it wasn’t a long note, but very simple. It had been placed there by someone who is like a dad to me, and I “found” it at just the right time, when I needed a little pick-me-up on the other side of the world.

On Thursday I got a hug from a family friend.  During my lunch break I had a meeting at the other school building, a couple streets away from the building in which I teach. While walking back, my coworker and I, were almost hit by a tuktuk driver and his passengers! I looked up and saw the face of one of the passengers and thought he looked familiar so I gave a little smile and half hearted wave. To my surprise his smile got bigger and he waved back, and then started shouting, “Are you Susie?!?! I am Sokurt!” I laughed and replied, “Yes, I am Susie!” He had the driver stop, hopped out and gave me a big hug. We didn’t have long to chat because my afternoon session was scheduled to begin in about ten minutes. The really crazy part, Sokurt and I have met one time, about four years ago. He is good friends with my parents, and has seen a few pictures of me. Not only that, but the street on which we almost literally ran into each other on is a random, not too busy, back road, and there are over a million people in the city in which I live. Coincidence? No, I think not. A blessing and a gift, God knew I needed a hug, and a friendly smile.

The world is small, and full of little blessings. I just have to be willing to look beyond the frustration of a moment to see and receive the gifts which are placed before me daily.